I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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