either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
