I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
