Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I didn't shave. On purpose
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
