I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
