Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
it was like eating out sand paper
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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