He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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