I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I supernannyed him into submission
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
