i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
