need another drink. this is the easiest way
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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