what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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