Just cropdusted the office
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
