but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
