I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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