Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
