i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
