My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
