Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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