pop tarts are not kleenex
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
