and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize