so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
