Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
