I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
