Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
