Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I still have a little drunk in my system
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
