I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
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