He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
