used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
