so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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