just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
