Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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