Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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