So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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