these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm just crazy horny about you
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
