Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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