38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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