I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
