i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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