This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
