just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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