I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
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