This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
