The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
