We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
