we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
why is half of my head shaved?
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