covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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