I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
