I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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