i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
