can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
