Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
