suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
