I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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