So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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