It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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