i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
