I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
