Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
