Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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