READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
