The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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