She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
