i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
