hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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