your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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