btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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