hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
