I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
