You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize