lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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