I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Pants are for mortals
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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