I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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