Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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